Barbara Rudvalis, My mother in Law, owns a local Carlsbad Cymbidium orchid nursery She is having a Public open house this weekend (she only has 2-3 open houses a yr.) .....this is truly a treat to behold. Please come......
Cymbidiums are the perfect gift for Valentine's Day-- they lasts for weeks & weeks.
Call Now to have a box shipped in time for Valentine's day.
Orchids can be picked up or shipped anywhere in the U.S. You can order orchids anytime ...not just during the open houses.
Small box 4-5 stems of Orchids $35 + plus shipping (tax if it is shipped in CA)
Large Box 7-10 stems of Orchids $75 + plus shipping
Potted cymbidiums plants start as low as $15++
Please share this invitation with anyone on your email list and bring your friends...
Let's support a local small business.
RUDVALIS ORCHIDOpen House
Saturday February 11--- 9AM- 3PM
see thousands of the most beautiful and colorful award winning Cymbidiums in the world
Wholesale Prices!
Off of I-5.....East Poinsettia Road ........Right on Black Rail RoadRight on Triton.........Left at Dead end onto dirt road.......Follow dirt road to greenhouses
Other than open houses ….visits to nursery are arranged by appointment only ……. To order flowers at wholesale prices. Email or call…
http://www.rudvalisorchids.com/ 760-438-2121
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Sunday, January 15, 2012
What to do IF there are real signs of Bullying going on.
It has been almost a year since I first posted about how we need to address emotions with our children in regards to bullies.... I had received a lot of feedback and statistics related to why the suicide rate is so high among the victims of excessive bullying... and I understand this...
since then many famous people have jumped on the No Bullys theme, which is good...
For those that may have a child that is struggling with this as the receiver of the bullying and harassment. Please take note of what I would suggest you do to monitor your child.
1. Be inquisitive. Your child will not share what is going on.. (too painful to talk about)
2. Open ended questions.. not ones that can have a yes or no answer...
3. Check Facebook and other social media sites.. to keep a pulse on what is happening.
4. If concerned, get help.. and ask your child who they can talk with if not you (the parent).
There is a line between being concerned and overstepping sensitive adolescent boundaries.. Do not use concerns to justify invasive actions.. but if the signs of excessive bullying exists then do not ignore.
Bullying will never go away.. mean girls, low man on the totem pole, and many other terms have been used for years.. but what I am discussing in this post is the excessive harassment that invades all areas of a child's life.
since then many famous people have jumped on the No Bullys theme, which is good...
For those that may have a child that is struggling with this as the receiver of the bullying and harassment. Please take note of what I would suggest you do to monitor your child.
1. Be inquisitive. Your child will not share what is going on.. (too painful to talk about)
2. Open ended questions.. not ones that can have a yes or no answer...
3. Check Facebook and other social media sites.. to keep a pulse on what is happening.
4. If concerned, get help.. and ask your child who they can talk with if not you (the parent).
There is a line between being concerned and overstepping sensitive adolescent boundaries.. Do not use concerns to justify invasive actions.. but if the signs of excessive bullying exists then do not ignore.
Bullying will never go away.. mean girls, low man on the totem pole, and many other terms have been used for years.. but what I am discussing in this post is the excessive harassment that invades all areas of a child's life.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Exercise as a part of reduced stress and better mental health
Here is an excerpt from an article written by fitness trainer Lana Surmanik that I wanted to share:
Exercise has been long known to create the feeling of well being when the natural release of endorphins occurs (endorphins are released by the brain). Besides feeling an increase in energy and sleeping better as a result of exercise, it also leads to feelings of happiness (a euphoria of a sort).
For those suffering anxiety, exercise can help lower blood pressure which is often elevated during periods of anxiety.
Those suffering from depression, anxiety and stress have often feelings of low self-worth and low-self esteem. Exercise and fitness can help this perception for not only are you improving blood flow to the brain, heart and organs, your body image will become improved. Those who suffer from depression and anxiety as well are known to neglect this fact. Exercise is a natural, strong, confidence-building device that no prescribed medication can afford you.
Though exercise will not cure anxiety and depression, doing something natural which can be thoroughly enjoyable (especially if done with a friend or two) is definitely a plus for anyone, under any circumstance.
Once checked and approved by your health provider, you can begin your exercising to better mental health, doing exercises such as:
Taking a walk in the park or a beach
Dancing (not only great exercise but fun to do!)
Riding a bike
And of course we all know my favorite, aqua exercise... whether it is jogging in the pool , swimming laps or just playing around...working out in the water holds no excuses for why you can't.. it's great for all makes and models of bodies.. :)
My Point in sharing this article is that getting away from a situation, blowing off steam and getting the body going helps in so many ways.....
Although it won't cure the situation or mind set, it does allow you to be on top of it vs. it on top of you... a positive way to take healthy control in your life!
Exercise has been long known to create the feeling of well being when the natural release of endorphins occurs (endorphins are released by the brain). Besides feeling an increase in energy and sleeping better as a result of exercise, it also leads to feelings of happiness (a euphoria of a sort).
For those suffering anxiety, exercise can help lower blood pressure which is often elevated during periods of anxiety.
Those suffering from depression, anxiety and stress have often feelings of low self-worth and low-self esteem. Exercise and fitness can help this perception for not only are you improving blood flow to the brain, heart and organs, your body image will become improved. Those who suffer from depression and anxiety as well are known to neglect this fact. Exercise is a natural, strong, confidence-building device that no prescribed medication can afford you.
Though exercise will not cure anxiety and depression, doing something natural which can be thoroughly enjoyable (especially if done with a friend or two) is definitely a plus for anyone, under any circumstance.
Once checked and approved by your health provider, you can begin your exercising to better mental health, doing exercises such as:
Taking a walk in the park or a beach
Dancing (not only great exercise but fun to do!)
Riding a bike
And of course we all know my favorite, aqua exercise... whether it is jogging in the pool , swimming laps or just playing around...working out in the water holds no excuses for why you can't.. it's great for all makes and models of bodies.. :)
My Point in sharing this article is that getting away from a situation, blowing off steam and getting the body going helps in so many ways.....
Although it won't cure the situation or mind set, it does allow you to be on top of it vs. it on top of you... a positive way to take healthy control in your life!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Bullies and thick skin (Revised)
I have spoken about this a few times in counseling sessions but have been hesitant to put my thoughts down on paper.... until now. This needs to be addressed from a parents perspective. While also changing the way we handle the bullies in our children's and our own lives.
Every few months we hear about individuals of all age groups and genders that have chosen suicide as a way to escape the bullying in their lives. THIS is not about blaming the victim.. and I understand the deep loss these families bear...
This is about how we deal with the fall-out. We want to stop the bullying so this doesn't happen.. I am not pro-bully.. practically speaking bullying has always been around in one form or another.. In this technically connected world.. the reprieve is not there as it has been in the past... this does make it harder to cope.. reasons for this will be discussed in another post.
We cannot turn back the clocks of technology.. we need to send the message to our children. that they can handle mean things and actions of others.. they may never stop the bully but they can learn to handle it..
Parents have become so overly involved in their children's lives that many have crossed from caring and nurturing to rescuing and over involved. This sends the messages that:
The messages that needs to be sent are:
We must help our children problem solve and learn to cope with the real world..
As parents we can be supportive and encouraging and have their backs.. they can know they are not in this alone.. but we are beside them not in front of them to clear their paths..
Years ago.. parents were uninvolved, then the pendulum swung to over involvement.. now it is time to rest in the middle.
(writers note: The intensity, cruelty and ways to cope with this new level of Bullying will be covered in another blog)
Every few months we hear about individuals of all age groups and genders that have chosen suicide as a way to escape the bullying in their lives. THIS is not about blaming the victim.. and I understand the deep loss these families bear...
This is about how we deal with the fall-out. We want to stop the bullying so this doesn't happen.. I am not pro-bully.. practically speaking bullying has always been around in one form or another.. In this technically connected world.. the reprieve is not there as it has been in the past... this does make it harder to cope.. reasons for this will be discussed in another post.
We cannot turn back the clocks of technology.. we need to send the message to our children. that they can handle mean things and actions of others.. they may never stop the bully but they can learn to handle it..
Parents have become so overly involved in their children's lives that many have crossed from caring and nurturing to rescuing and over involved. This sends the messages that:
- you can not handle life and any attack on your feelings is to much for you to deal with
- the painful events of normal life need to be avoided..
- emotions are what you base your decisions on
The messages that needs to be sent are:
- as you grow up.. you can handle what life throws at you including mean people
- we need to support our children on the road of hard knocks. not rescue them because it is hard for us watch and to deal with.. that isn't parenting.
- teach our children to over ride impulsive behavior.. most often triggered by emotion. Be aware of how you feel but think through the situation and problem solve..
We must help our children problem solve and learn to cope with the real world..
As parents we can be supportive and encouraging and have their backs.. they can know they are not in this alone.. but we are beside them not in front of them to clear their paths..
Years ago.. parents were uninvolved, then the pendulum swung to over involvement.. now it is time to rest in the middle.
(writers note: The intensity, cruelty and ways to cope with this new level of Bullying will be covered in another blog)
Sunday, April 3, 2011
The Family Happy Hour.... a closer look before summer.
This is not meant to offend.. but hopefully to increase awareness.. all across the country.. a modern version of an old theme is causing chaos and pain...
In the "good ol days" there was happy hour or a cocktail before dinner....
Now... it has morphed into the neighborhood happy hour and is now called.. "letting the children play together" or a neighborhood gathering.
All or most of the moms and dads fill up their cups or glasses with wine or other liqueurs, then announce to the children.. lets go out and play...
this usually takes place in a cul-de-sac, front yard of a house with a well stocked garage fridge, or the neighborhood park...
Parents, the children know that you are really there to drink, you are embarrassing them and setting very poor examples...
I am not saying that going out to have a drink is bad.... but do not veil it in a play date or going out for the children...
Play dates, children's activities and alcohol should never mix.
The results, will keep Carlsbad Counseling Center in business for years.. in crisis mode.. not growth related therapy...
The fall out is devastating short term and the long term habits you are teaching will cause devastation in the future... next post... a closer look....and a realistic perspective.
and yes, if you noticed.. this is a big pet peeve of mine.
In the "good ol days" there was happy hour or a cocktail before dinner....
Now... it has morphed into the neighborhood happy hour and is now called.. "letting the children play together" or a neighborhood gathering.
All or most of the moms and dads fill up their cups or glasses with wine or other liqueurs, then announce to the children.. lets go out and play...
this usually takes place in a cul-de-sac, front yard of a house with a well stocked garage fridge, or the neighborhood park...
Parents, the children know that you are really there to drink, you are embarrassing them and setting very poor examples...
I am not saying that going out to have a drink is bad.... but do not veil it in a play date or going out for the children...
Play dates, children's activities and alcohol should never mix.
The results, will keep Carlsbad Counseling Center in business for years.. in crisis mode.. not growth related therapy...
The fall out is devastating short term and the long term habits you are teaching will cause devastation in the future... next post... a closer look....and a realistic perspective.
and yes, if you noticed.. this is a big pet peeve of mine.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Ten things you should never say!....
You hear me talk about these ideas all the time.. but he has put it in everyday.. relationship/comedy lingo...
Ten Things You Should Never, Ever Say
By Jeff Waddle
“Guys say the stupidest things.” That’s a near universal female observation. And let’s face it: there’s more than a grain of truth in it. We guys do say some pretty idiotic stuff. Thing is, we rarely mean to. In fact, we often don’t even know that we did! What to do? Channel your fifth grade teacher and remember to think before you speak. Behind otherwise benign statements lurk some rather, well, stupid stuff. Here are ten statements that are likely to get you into trouble, and how to avoid them.
“You’re over-reacting.”While this may be true from an objective standpoint, she will never agree, at least not on the spot. No matter what she may be throwing at you, be that insults or ceramic knick-knacks, she believes she’s acting appropriately. So duck if you have to and then say something like this: “I don’t blame you for being upset, but I’d rather focus our energy on fixing the problem.”
“You’re not being logical.”Once again, you may be right, but that’s beside the point. (Note that we said “may.”) When in the midst of a debate, one plus one can equal three. Put logic aside, and listen for the core matter as she sees it. Hopefully she’ll return the favor when you suggest, for instance, that because it’s the third Sunday of the month, it would be a crime against humanity if you didn’t go fishing.
“Who put that idea in your head, your mother?” On a calm day, your wife or main squeeze may concur that her mother is a bit “out there.” However, when you suggest that some beef or ideas of hers isn’t genuine and, instead, has been “planted” by her mother (or sister, or girlfriend), it suggests that she can’t think for herself. Treat her thoughts and ideas as her own, regardless of their origin.
“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”Well, maybe you need to read more, because whenever you feel you’ve heard the worst of ideas, just sample a few pages of the Darwin Awards. Don’t dismiss ideas outright. Instead, express what about the idea you don’t like. Even better, start by saying what you do like about the idea. Remember, someone once called the internal combustion engine a waste of gray matter.
“The other guys’ wives are cool with it.”Even if true, such statements really shouldn’t matter. Think about it this way: If your kid wanted to do something that you didn’t want him to, would the fact that another parent told his kid it was OK change your mind? We didn’t think so. What other wives or girlfriends are doing or saying should be of no concern. Make decisions for yourselves and leave others out of it. Or risk your wife telling you all about the “super-duper romantic” dinner some other husband put together for some other wife.
“After everything that I’ve done for you?!”This is playing the guilt card, which may work now and then, but at a steep cost. It suggests that, at the end of the day, your relationship is one based on points reflecting who’s done what for whom. And you might want to reflect long and hard before you suggest that such a score be tallied.
“You’ll feel differently tomorrow.”Maybe. Maybe not. Often, a good night’s rest provides a different perspective on life, right? And though this insight may be wise, none of us like to hear it. That’s because it suggests that something we’re upset, angry or passionate about now is just a passing fancy.
“You always (fill in the blank).” “You never (fill in the blank).”Definitive statements like these only poke the bear. In most of these cases ¾ “You never give me credit for what I do!” ¾ they’re not literally true and only come off as grandiose statements that hide the real concern or message. Talk, instead, in terms of “sometimes” and “only occasionally.” You’re more apt to be heard, even if you feel that never happens.
“You didn’t used to be this way.”Inherent in this statement is the implication that in whatever manner you suggest she “used to be,” that that was far better than the way she is now. Ouch!
“You’re missing the point.”When your wife hears this, it gets translated into “You’re not smart enough to understand what I obviously said so clearly and so brilliantly, so let me dumb it down for you.” If you really think she missed your point, then make your point again in a different way.
Ten Things You Should Never, Ever Say
By Jeff Waddle
“Guys say the stupidest things.” That’s a near universal female observation. And let’s face it: there’s more than a grain of truth in it. We guys do say some pretty idiotic stuff. Thing is, we rarely mean to. In fact, we often don’t even know that we did! What to do? Channel your fifth grade teacher and remember to think before you speak. Behind otherwise benign statements lurk some rather, well, stupid stuff. Here are ten statements that are likely to get you into trouble, and how to avoid them.
“You’re over-reacting.”While this may be true from an objective standpoint, she will never agree, at least not on the spot. No matter what she may be throwing at you, be that insults or ceramic knick-knacks, she believes she’s acting appropriately. So duck if you have to and then say something like this: “I don’t blame you for being upset, but I’d rather focus our energy on fixing the problem.”
“You’re not being logical.”Once again, you may be right, but that’s beside the point. (Note that we said “may.”) When in the midst of a debate, one plus one can equal three. Put logic aside, and listen for the core matter as she sees it. Hopefully she’ll return the favor when you suggest, for instance, that because it’s the third Sunday of the month, it would be a crime against humanity if you didn’t go fishing.
“Who put that idea in your head, your mother?” On a calm day, your wife or main squeeze may concur that her mother is a bit “out there.” However, when you suggest that some beef or ideas of hers isn’t genuine and, instead, has been “planted” by her mother (or sister, or girlfriend), it suggests that she can’t think for herself. Treat her thoughts and ideas as her own, regardless of their origin.
“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”Well, maybe you need to read more, because whenever you feel you’ve heard the worst of ideas, just sample a few pages of the Darwin Awards. Don’t dismiss ideas outright. Instead, express what about the idea you don’t like. Even better, start by saying what you do like about the idea. Remember, someone once called the internal combustion engine a waste of gray matter.
“The other guys’ wives are cool with it.”Even if true, such statements really shouldn’t matter. Think about it this way: If your kid wanted to do something that you didn’t want him to, would the fact that another parent told his kid it was OK change your mind? We didn’t think so. What other wives or girlfriends are doing or saying should be of no concern. Make decisions for yourselves and leave others out of it. Or risk your wife telling you all about the “super-duper romantic” dinner some other husband put together for some other wife.
“After everything that I’ve done for you?!”This is playing the guilt card, which may work now and then, but at a steep cost. It suggests that, at the end of the day, your relationship is one based on points reflecting who’s done what for whom. And you might want to reflect long and hard before you suggest that such a score be tallied.
“You’ll feel differently tomorrow.”Maybe. Maybe not. Often, a good night’s rest provides a different perspective on life, right? And though this insight may be wise, none of us like to hear it. That’s because it suggests that something we’re upset, angry or passionate about now is just a passing fancy.
“You always (fill in the blank).” “You never (fill in the blank).”Definitive statements like these only poke the bear. In most of these cases ¾ “You never give me credit for what I do!” ¾ they’re not literally true and only come off as grandiose statements that hide the real concern or message. Talk, instead, in terms of “sometimes” and “only occasionally.” You’re more apt to be heard, even if you feel that never happens.
“You didn’t used to be this way.”Inherent in this statement is the implication that in whatever manner you suggest she “used to be,” that that was far better than the way she is now. Ouch!
“You’re missing the point.”When your wife hears this, it gets translated into “You’re not smart enough to understand what I obviously said so clearly and so brilliantly, so let me dumb it down for you.” If you really think she missed your point, then make your point again in a different way.
Friday, December 24, 2010
I wanted to wish each and every one of you and your families the best this holiday season. May you continue to grow and challenge yourselves to overcome and take charge of your lives and the direction that you want to go...this coming year and way into the future.
The holidays are very bittersweet for most people.. we want the holiday of our youth.. yet many times when we reflect honestly.. it wasn't so sweet..
Focus on the way you want your life and work toward that.. not running from or recreating your past.. but being a part of what you want today....
I know it isn't always easy.. but to be able not to be bound by the past and enjoy the present is my wish for you...
Two last reminders.. children are crazy and full of extra energy over the holidays.. lower the standards and dole out lots of grace... we will all be back into our routines soon enough..
If you feel the need (compelled) to have New Year resolutions.. make them positive instead of what you will give up or change.. look at ways to be kinder to yourself.. and be realistic...
(for those of you that are already feeling overwhelmed.. I will have limited hours on Monday Dec. 27 and Friday Dec. 31).
Finally, I want to thank you for allowing me to work with your and your families over the last year....
May your experience this holiday and the New Year with Love,Peace and Grace.
Kendall
The holidays are very bittersweet for most people.. we want the holiday of our youth.. yet many times when we reflect honestly.. it wasn't so sweet..
Focus on the way you want your life and work toward that.. not running from or recreating your past.. but being a part of what you want today....
I know it isn't always easy.. but to be able not to be bound by the past and enjoy the present is my wish for you...
Two last reminders.. children are crazy and full of extra energy over the holidays.. lower the standards and dole out lots of grace... we will all be back into our routines soon enough..
If you feel the need (compelled) to have New Year resolutions.. make them positive instead of what you will give up or change.. look at ways to be kinder to yourself.. and be realistic...
(for those of you that are already feeling overwhelmed.. I will have limited hours on Monday Dec. 27 and Friday Dec. 31).
Finally, I want to thank you for allowing me to work with your and your families over the last year....
May your experience this holiday and the New Year with Love,Peace and Grace.
Kendall
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